Practice

"Practice is an ever-fresh, challenging flow of work and play in which we continually test and demolish our own delusions; therefore it is sometimes painful."

--Stephen Nachmanovitch, Free Play

I love this book. It was recommended by my improv teacher. I thought it was going to have an instructional bent but instead it's a well thought out exploration of creativity, what it means, and how we can best access our creative abilities and instincts. And it's not simply the author's whimsical thoughts about creativity--the book is an articulation of theories and insights he's likely spent a lifetime developing. The word "guru" is fairly cheesy but it might apply here. Although if he truly was a guru I'd probably have to beat his ass out of principle.

You can turn to most any page and read deep, personally relevant material. I love any book like that. I like smart people teaching me things. I thought the practice quote was especially applicable to those intrepid souls venturing into stand up. My classmates and I all took our lumps during fall semester. I think we showed up to class the first day thinking "Okay, I'm good and these classes will help the world figure that out." Uh, no. We all have material that sucks, that we thought was solid when we wrote it down or laughed at it the first time we said it. But you have to bring the unformed glass into the fire before it turns into anything relevant or useful. The fire in this case being ridiculously bright spotlights and bewildered looks on audience members' faces.

Oh, I thought that joke was funny. But no one here does. Hmm. That's a painful reality to face on stage in front of strangers. It's not like getting a crossword puzzle clue wrong in your living room. The standup mistake crystallizes in a public place with plenty (hopefully) of witnesses to the carnage.

And so learning what works and what doesn't is more than a simple, prolonged search for material that is tried and tested and polished. At times, it's about facing your delusions. At times I have a hard time distinguishing between what is mean and what is funny. You know, the old adage "The joke's not funny unless someone's feelings are getting hurt." That might not be the best adage. So I've had to confront my delusion (with the help of my comedy instructor Steve Rosenfield). I'm not saying I've overcome it, but at least I'm aware now. And I do think mean and funny can make for good bedfellows. They just have to be laid out the right way. Audiences have surprising reservoirs of compassion and empathy. Not for comedians. For the subjects comedians choose to target. So the comic must let the audience know he has compassion and empathy too before launching into material that could be viewed as simply an attack.

One of the appeals of comedy is trying to replicate the laughing so hard until your stomach hurts feeling with a room full of strangers. It seems so simple and seductive watching an HBO special. But to get to that place requires the dismantling of plenty of delusions. And the delusions aren't just about your material. They're about your perspective on the world. They're about who you are.

Then again, what the fuck do I know.