Odd Shoe Dream

I've decided to use this blog to categorize weird dreams because honestly, what just happened there? Last night I dreamed that I was on some sort of field trip to the mall in a severely cramped oversized pickup truck. When we got there I was barefoot. I managed to find some sort of child's shoe that I crammed my right foot into and then stumbled upon a shoe store.

Now how the shoe store salesperson didn't suspect I might steal a shoe, what with my one bare foot and one foot jammed into a child's shoe, I'll never understand. But he didn't. I found a really nice $179 sneaker and put it on my left foot and hightailed it out of there, one regular fitting expensive shoe and one severely cramped child's shoe. Why not steal a cheaper shoe? Or even just buy a pair?

I made it back to some kind of warehouse area where we waited for the giant pickup truck to return. My feet were doing okay at this point and I thought I was in the clear. Boy was I wrong. Someone in my group answered their cell phone and said "Yeah, he's here." Freaking snitch!

Security swarmed in and I nonchalantly explained "Oh my god, I was just looking for you guys! I somehow left Foot Locker with this shoe and wanted to return it! No, I didn't steal it. Who would steal just one shoe?"

They didn't buy it. I was in a deep, deep panic. Why do dreams have to be so incredibly intense? (I kind of know the answer but it's more fun to speculate.) It honestly made me think back to when I shoplifted as a teenager and I felt during the dream that I was being made to pay for the couple times I escaped when I actually did shoplift. I was quite disappointed in myself.

Hmm so maybe I have guilt over shoplifting a Miami Hurricanes ballcap when I was 16. You'd think I'd be over that by now.

Anyway, I made it back to the weird truck and had to climb through a tiny portal to get to the backseat where my legs had absolutely no room and people were kind of disgusted with me. Kind of like you are right now after suffering through the details of my dream. The point of the story is make sure you have shoes on before you go to the mall.