Why being single is great whenever I can see through the tears

So now I’ve been single for um like a lot of years. And I gotta tell you being single is great. It genuinely is. Breakups are difficult and you don't think you can move on and live life without her or without a girlfriend in general. But now I feel like I’ve gotten to a much healthier place and I truly enjoy being single and when the prospect of a girlfriend comes up I think “This sounds like it will fuck up my fun.”

I read a story recently about a train conductor that got in trouble because every time he’d drive through a town in New Jersey he’d toot his horn when he passed by a certain girl’s house. She’d run outside and wave and he’d toot it again. I realized that’s about the level of intimacy I’m looking for. I drive through your town, toot my horn a few times, and then you come outside and wave, maybe show me your tits, and then I continue on to the next town. That I can handle.