Lucky underwear

I have an interview today and was wondering. Does lucky underwear exist? Ladies, will you mail me a pair of yours to help me figure this out? I'll need a photo of you to help determine if you are an appropriate test subject.

Laughing matters

Goddamn that was a really lame title I just came up with! I mean seriously. Unacceptable on my part and you have my apology. I guess I could just leave the title blank but that doesn't seem to be very helpful to my 4 followers who signed up to follow my blog to be nice to me and will likely never read this blog again. Let's be honest Jennifer McCahan you're the only person reading this. And I appreciate it!

So the whole reason I got into comedy was because (terrible grammar but fuck it) I wanted to see if it would be possible to replicate the feeling you get when you and three or four people are laughing uncontrollably, usually while drunk. And the answer is: no. No, it's not. Getting an audience of strangers (or frankly people you know in groups larger than, say, four) to laugh in unison is quite different than an inside joke with your pals. Inside joke example: I don't think those are empty pot bags scattered around Washington Heights.

By the way can I just pause here and say Billy Crystal is telling some long, fairly lame story about a raccoon on Letterman right now? Don't get me wrong, I understand the guy's a legend. But I do dislike how once a guest achieves a certain level of celebrity talk show audiences glibly laugh along anytime there's a pause. Just because Billy Crystal or Robin Williams (especially Robin Williams) are talking doesn't mean everything they say is funny. Funny is defined on a moment to moment basis. People should laugh because of content not because of reputation. They should also follow my rules for laughing.

As I was saying. For argument's sake let's conjecture that there are two kinds of funny. Funny Type 1: That which you create and share with a crowd. It's commercially viable and broadly accessible material. Type 2: Humor that springs from intimacy and specific knowledge of a person or group. I'd say generally Type 2 yields the hardest laughter and resonates most deeply. Each of us has a distinct set of experiences and people in our lives that can yield humorous content. It's personally relevant and deeply understood. So a case could be made that these jokes and moments are the most rewarding.

But how funny can it be if only four people understand the joke? I'd bet most people would put their favorite lines from their favorite comedians up against personal stories they found the most enjoyable. Type 1 has the potential to give scores of people enjoyment. Type 2 is situation based and generally ephemeral. I don't know what that word means either. Yes I do. But I felt bad for you for a minute. Unless you do know what it means. In which case you're probably a little mad at me right now. I understand. Take a minute.

There's really no point in figuring this out because really there's nothing to figure out. Both kinds have their purpose and it would be impossible to assign any kind of value to either type. My point is: Why are you reading this?

That was also a rude thing to say. My point is that when I began to approach the comedy field this argument was a central piece of my motivation. Can I replicate the doubled over laughter I occasionally have created or contributed to in a small group in a much larger setting? Can I get rooms full (or nearly empty) of strangers to see an idea in my head the way I see that idea? And if they see it my way, will they find it as funny as I did when I wrote it? The answer is no.

Just kidding. Sort of. It's a work in progress. I'm reading back through this to see if it makes me come across like I have a big ego. Because I don't. Maybe I did, but not anymore. Not about comedy stuff. About other stuff. Maybe that's another posting topic--how we perceive our skill levels in different areas of interest vs. how the world perceives our skill levels.

Figuring that gap out creates a whole new level of self awareness. It can be daunting and discouraging. But what keeps me going is the knowledge that even if I didn't put my efforts on display my level of natural talent would still be what it is. My genuine talent or genuine shittiness exists whether or not I test it out. So may as well test it out. Get closer to reality, closer to an authentic life.

Accomplishments

Sometimes I take great pride in miniscule achievements. Like getting ready. I think about each step and smugly nod my head when it's completed. Yep, washed my arms. Arms are good to go. Wash my feet? Oh yes, we'll get there. There it is. There it is now. Clean as a whistle. Freshly showered, bitches.

Talcum powder below? Check. Deodorant? It's applied. Borderline gay face lotion? Smoothed on. Can't even see the white anymore. This guy right here is very close to being completely ready to go outside. Won't be long now.

Boxers, slid those bitches right on. Same goes for the jeans. Once the shirt slips on, that's when you know you're close. The feel of the shirt on your above-waist skin, that's like rounding third and heading for home. I mean hell if someone broke in right now at least I'd have a shirt on. You can't deny me that. I'm ready for action, technically. At this point socks and shoes are gravy. Socks and shoes mean my feet won't hurt on the pavement outside. That's a good place to be. Secure in your walking capacities.

I also like to look in the mirror after I'm ready and think about how far I've come. The before and after. Just 30 minutes ago that guy was disheveled, pointy hair in the back, borderline greasy. Now? Shit. Smooth as silk.

When I get outside I half expect strangers to grab my arm--"Hey man you look really ready! Did you forget anything? No dude, you look clean as hell. Damn! Everyone out here better step off!" Soon the crowds part and they stare, wondering how, how did this erstwhile sleeper get to this point? Is there any part of him that isn't refreshed? Doubt it. Then some rap music comes on.

Sponges

Why in God's name are sponges moist when you buy them? That is nasty. I'm not sure what the source of this moisture is. I can provide my own moisture, sponge companies. In fact, that's why I bought the sponge--to pair it up with my own sources of liquid. I don't need a head start. I'm not sure I trust sponge factory workers at this point.

Practice

"Practice is an ever-fresh, challenging flow of work and play in which we continually test and demolish our own delusions; therefore it is sometimes painful."

--Stephen Nachmanovitch, Free Play

I love this book. It was recommended by my improv teacher. I thought it was going to have an instructional bent but instead it's a well thought out exploration of creativity, what it means, and how we can best access our creative abilities and instincts. And it's not simply the author's whimsical thoughts about creativity--the book is an articulation of theories and insights he's likely spent a lifetime developing. The word "guru" is fairly cheesy but it might apply here. Although if he truly was a guru I'd probably have to beat his ass out of principle.

You can turn to most any page and read deep, personally relevant material. I love any book like that. I like smart people teaching me things. I thought the practice quote was especially applicable to those intrepid souls venturing into stand up. My classmates and I all took our lumps during fall semester. I think we showed up to class the first day thinking "Okay, I'm good and these classes will help the world figure that out." Uh, no. We all have material that sucks, that we thought was solid when we wrote it down or laughed at it the first time we said it. But you have to bring the unformed glass into the fire before it turns into anything relevant or useful. The fire in this case being ridiculously bright spotlights and bewildered looks on audience members' faces.

Oh, I thought that joke was funny. But no one here does. Hmm. That's a painful reality to face on stage in front of strangers. It's not like getting a crossword puzzle clue wrong in your living room. The standup mistake crystallizes in a public place with plenty (hopefully) of witnesses to the carnage.

And so learning what works and what doesn't is more than a simple, prolonged search for material that is tried and tested and polished. At times, it's about facing your delusions. At times I have a hard time distinguishing between what is mean and what is funny. You know, the old adage "The joke's not funny unless someone's feelings are getting hurt." That might not be the best adage. So I've had to confront my delusion (with the help of my comedy instructor Steve Rosenfield). I'm not saying I've overcome it, but at least I'm aware now. And I do think mean and funny can make for good bedfellows. They just have to be laid out the right way. Audiences have surprising reservoirs of compassion and empathy. Not for comedians. For the subjects comedians choose to target. So the comic must let the audience know he has compassion and empathy too before launching into material that could be viewed as simply an attack.

One of the appeals of comedy is trying to replicate the laughing so hard until your stomach hurts feeling with a room full of strangers. It seems so simple and seductive watching an HBO special. But to get to that place requires the dismantling of plenty of delusions. And the delusions aren't just about your material. They're about your perspective on the world. They're about who you are.

Then again, what the fuck do I know.

Career transitions-article snippet

Harry B. Weiner, a partner at On-Ramps, a recruiting and consulting firm that works with financial professionals, says the economic downturn is creating a new psychology of career transition.

“People feel there’s nothing to lose in terms of taking a risk and pursuing a new direction, especially when you have a résumé that says ‘banking’ and no banks are hiring,” Mr. Weiner said.

That was certainly the calculus for Benjamin Cox, 33. After leaving his job as a vice president at Goldman Sachs in August, he immediately began incubating his plans to work on his screenplay — he calls it a cross between “Swingers” and “Annie Hall” — and start a production company.

Mr. Cox said that with the upheaval on Wall Street, he feels relieved to have a backup plan. “I’m seeing a lot of people who never thought of an alternative to banking.”

Shaun Gatter, 38, left his position as a vice president and counsel at a large investment bank last year to work on his novel about a Jewish South African family, a story set against the backdrop of apartheid.

Mr. Gatter says that the decision has meant a huge financial adjustment, but that the payback — having more mental energy for his book — has been worth it.

“It’s been euphoric to be able to think mainly about the book and less about equity derivatives and client risk.”

Greg Collett, 37, left his job as a director in the commodity exchange-traded fund business at Deutsche Bank in June to explore a career in stand-up comedy.

“I had this gnawing feeling that things were only going to get worse and that Wall Street was not the place to be,” Mr. Collett said, adding that it was easier to leave knowing that compensation packages were going to be a fraction of what they were a few years ago.

Richard Florida, author of “Who’s Your City?” and director of the Martin Prosperity Institute at the University of Toronto, sees the gravitational pull away from Wall Street and toward more creative industries as part of a necessary economic recalibration.

“The economy couldn’t survive on speculation and what really amounted to advanced financial alchemy,” he said. “We are now realizing it is our human creativity that is our real capital.

“The economic downturn is going to free up top talent to do other things that are going to change the metabolism of cities like New York in a very good way.”

Understanding women

Forewarning: This story is based on observations from a night of drinking. An entirely separate and more logical set of observations may have sprung from a sober night reflecting on the couch. Unfortunately those nights typically don't motivate me to type. Unlike tonight.

I don't understand girls. I mean, who are we kidding here. But from time to time I put my thinking cap on and say to it "Okay fella, let's see if we can learn a thing or two tonight about the non-males."

Here's a relatively easy lesson. Guys pride themselves on going to the bathroom separately. No need to chit chat with other guys while our hands are near our crotch. We assumed we had that one all figured out.

Girls don't see life that simply. They go to the bathroom and while sequestered share vital information with each other about how the night is progressing, who said what about who, and what the strategy should be upon exiting the bathroom.

The girls are plotting strategy in there. You can't win a war you're not trying to fight. Guys aren't fighting this war. We're letting it get away from us, drowning our intellect in sports scores.

It's kind of like halftime speeches. Guys go out on the town, they get zero speeches from anyone. The only speech they get is a self reminder: Try to talk to a cute girl. Girls go out, they may not have a speech to start. But sooner or later they go to the bathroom together and one of them is down and out. The other one gives her a pep talk, they regroup, and they rally around the pep talk.

This is a whole new layer of intimacy guys don't really understand. We're generally on auto pilot ranking ourselves on how long we talk to you and how pretty we think you are.

Actually what do I know. I'm not generally in women's bathrooms. I assume this is what's happening in there.

Second observation: Girls in groups are very in tune with what the other girls in the group are thinking and feeling. Every so often they look around the group, one by one, surveying emotions to see if anyone is unhappy. If everyone seems happy, great, let's keep having fun. If someone is unhappy, well then, why is she unhappy? And more importantly, does she annoy us? If so, her unhappiness annoys us and our annoyance wins out over her unhappiness. If she's justifiably unhappy and we like her (overall) then we need to fix this and are ourselves unhappy until it's fixed. And so on.

If you, a solo guy, spend time with groups of girls, sooner or later you'll find yourself in an eye lock with the girls. Why, you think, are we all looking at each other? Well, simple man, it's because we all care about each other and we all have empathy that we tap regularly. And so we make eye contact with each other now and then to see how everyone is doing. I know this is a simple act but I don't think most guys are aware that it happens. Guys are too focused on making the night a success or too focused on not focusing on anything at all.

At any rate, I pick these things up from time to time and apparently I've started to report my findings. Hey, it passes the time.